Scroll through any birth-related post, and you're bound to see the comments of people sharing that their birth plan was just to make it out alive. In their eyes, they made it out successfully. But...

Why are we conditioned to believe that childbirth is a life-or-death event?

Why are we so scared that we don't even afford ourselves the ability to choose anything beyond the preservation of life?

Why do we believe that the destination/outcome is the only thing that matters?

While I won't deny that sometimes birth can be risky, it's definitely the exception. Yet, the narrative is as if we should all thank our lucky stars (and our very skilled OBs) for making it out alive. 

Did women used to die from childbirth? Yes, but not as much as you think. The oldest recorded rate is about 170 per 10,000 (or 1.7% of women). We now have safe medicine, technology, and good old hand-washing...something that didn't exist in ye olden days. And thank goodness for that! Yet sometimes, it feels like we've gone backwards. What used to be a natural process has now become a medical event.

Do women still die from childbirth? Yes, it's less than 1%. And most deaths are treatable and preventable. Getting regular pregnancy care and labor support from a medical professional is one of the best things to help prevent these deaths.

We deserve more than to be alive. We deserve to enjoy the experience, to make informed decisions, to put our comfort front and center, and to be treated with dignity and respect. We are not selfish for asking for what we deserve!

https://www.campop.geog.cam.ac.uk/blog/2024/09/19/childbirth-in-the-past/

To me, saying "natural hospital birth" seems a bit of an oxymoron since there are few natural processes taking place at hospitals. Standard hospital care includes bright lights, beeping machines, wires, limited nourishment, frequent interruptions, limited mobility, and various interventions. If you choose or need any of those, that's fine. This isn't about which type of birth is right or wrong. This is about the words you use.

If you end up not using pain medication, that's an unmedicated birth. 
If you don't undergo any (or minimal) standard hospital procedures and your body freely flows through labor with full respect for what your body needs, to include no pain meds, that's called physiological labor or natural labor.
Where I think people get confused is thinking a vaginal birth is a natural birth. You can have ALL the meds and interventions and still have a vaginal birth, but it's not considered a natural birth.
​
Choose your words wisely, friends.

​Short answer: No
​
You've heard the Instagram stories and the TikTok reels: A desperate mom in her 40th week of pregnancy decides she's over being pregnant and tries what seems like a too-good-to-be-true activity to kickstart labor. And to your surprise, it worked!

However, no amount of curb walking, sex, or tea will induce labor. While you might have heard of these anecdotal things working, none of them are based on evidence. While that one mom on Instagram only has her birth to go off of to claim success, any birth worker who has seen hundreds of births can tell you these things rarely work. When it does work, it's likely a coincidence or a cervix that was already showing signs of labor. 

These exercises typically work by encouraging the baby to come lower into the pelvis and apply pressure on the cervix, which could signal the body to create contractions or dilate. But the cervix is only receptive if it's already showing signs of progress, such as dilation or effacement. Other ideas, such as having sex or membrane stripping, could release prostaglandins that also help efface or soften the cervix. However, none of these are guaranteed to work.

While you can't do much to start labor, there's a lot you can do to STOP it from happening. Any level of stress or fear will send a signal to your body that it's not safe to go into labor. When you stress out about doing all the things to start labor and blame yourself for still being pregnant, you are actually doing the opposite of what you set out to do.

In my personal experience, I recommend you only attempt these things with the full understanding that they may not work and that it's not really up to you. You are simply inviting your baby to be born, not obligating. Many of these are wonderful, once labor has started and stalled, though.

So, release yourself from the false notion that you're in charge of putting your body into labor, and read this while you wait for your little one.

My husband and I are having a home birth of sorts...for our 13-year-old son.

For the past 10 years, we did the "standard" thing, like the vast majority of American women giving birth. We trusted a system of professionals to help choose what was best for our family. Yes, we engaged in what we thought were conversations of informed consent, but there were always these mandatory boxes that had to be checked off. We saw multiple people throughout the process, and we never knew who we'd see next time. Not like it really mattered, because we were stuck with who we got. There were some attempts to quell our concerns, but often we'd be back to where we started. We even changed locations, hoping it'd get better, giving us some sense of control.

Ultimately, this approach left us feeling angry and disappointed. We had this feeling deep in our bones that something wasn't right, but we swept that under the rug and just told ourselves that this is just the way things are done. I mean, why would they intentionally cause harm?

But I had an awakening. A wild idea seeped into my thoughts. What if there was a different way? So, I rolled up my sleeves and found something so unique. I thought there was no way my husband would get behind the idea, but he was also just so tired of fighting the status quo, and he said, "Let's do it! It can't be any worse." The decision wasn't easy, and we're still a bit nervous, yet very excited. We found a team that treats all of us like individuals. A place that adapts to our needs instead of the other way around. Professionals who know that my baby is special and treat him as such. Someone in charge who is reachable and truly listens. An approach where boxes don't have to be checked off.

I tell my clients who completely trust their instincts and want an empowered birth, full of autonomy, and true shared decision making to choose a home birth. Yes, it can feel scary to do something so unheard of, something they never considered. Sure, it's not for everyone, and maybe the standard care and place of birth suit others better. It's all about presenting them with all of their options.

Now it's time I not just talk about it, but be about it! The public school has failed my son. He's been pushed to follow a path that simply isn't right for his special needs and gifts.

We have chosen a micro school. The home birth of education.

Instead of being in a classroom of 25 kids, he'll be in a room with about seven. Instead of standardized testing, he'll be at recess. Instead of his peers speedily moving forward (leaving him in the dust), the teacher will meet him where he's at and move at his pace. Instead of "having to," he now "gets to." We are blessed to have this opportunity cross our paths. 

Knowing what's right for your baby doesn't stop once they're teens. Trust your gut!

​Amber was pregnant with her second baby and ready to do things differently. Her first pregnancy followed a well-worn path. She implicitly trusted the medical expertise, allowing fear to guide her decisions. The last few weeks of pregnancy gave way to some new concerns; her baby was measuring large. How could she possibly give birth to a baby that was “too big” for her body? Her OB told her it was best to induce so the baby wouldn’t get any larger. Of course, she didn’t question his expert advice. A doctor surely knows more about labor than she does. Her induction came with the standard cascade of interventions: a Foley balloon, Pitocin, artificial rupture of membranes, and an epidural. Her baby Clara was indeed large at 8lbs 7oz.
 
When I talked to her about Clara’s birth, she confessed that she didn’t feel connected to her during the first few weeks. Of course, she loved her baby fiercely but something felt amiss. She was going through postpartum depression. As she processed the labor experience, she came to the conclusion that the epidural that had promised relief had also dulled her connection to the miraculous process unfolding within her body.
 
A year after Clara’s birth, she found herself pregnant with a boy named Hudson. She was no longer the same woman and she had decided she didn’t want the same experience with Hudson. She knew she was still scared of having another large baby but she also knew she didn’t want to be.

​'This is where I came in. I questioned her beliefs on what she thought was “wrong” with her and her baby. I asked her why she was choosing what she was. I encouraged her with words of affirmation. I sometimes asked tough questions that led to deep conversations. She also came to some meaningful realizations: the “big baby” fear wasn’t hers; it was her providers'. She also realized that she had been dependent on technology during her last pregnancy and labor to give her a sense of comfort. She needed a new approach. She needed to be present and connect. Her very caring and supportive husband Robert was there for all of our sessions and he also believed with his whole being that Amber had innate wisdom and strength.
 
At one of our sessions, I encouraged her to surrender. To know that birth is mysterious and we can’t control it all, and to allow her baby to be born how and when he feels is right. And just like that she surrendered. She gave it all up: the notion she could fix his size, the fears that her providers felt, the worries she had about the unknown and having unmet expectations. She told me that once she had surrendered, it felt like a switch had flipped.
 
This surrender became a gateway to a profound spiritual awakening. Prayers for Hudson flowed freely, and Amber found herself cradled in a newfound faith that seemed to have been waiting for just this moment. Her heart and mind had accepted God in a new way. She also saw this baby in a way she hadn’t seen Clara. Hudson made her an advocate and helped her understand that her body knows how to give birth.
 
She went into labor just a couple of hours after our session. She had been feeling discomfort in an unusual place earlier and wasn’t even sure it was anything other than a nuisance. But when she called to tell me she was having consistent bursts of pain, she truly began to worry as this wasn’t normal nor what she had been expecting. Was her whole confidence about to break? I remember telling her, “I don’t know why you’re having contractions like these but this is what you’ve been given and we’ll work with them. These are just the contractions he needs to be born.” Her surrender had turned into acceptance. She let go of fears once more and embraced these unique contractions as Hudson's chosen path into the world.
 
What happened next turned into my wildest and most fulfilling labor experiences. While I was on the phone with Robert, she began to feel the uncontrollable urge to push after only feeling like she was actively laboring for less than two hours. I stayed on the line while he calmly called 911 and within a few minutes, she gave birth to Hudson on her hands and knees in her bedroom. Her hospital birth turned into an empowering accidental home birth. Soon, she was transferred to the hospital for assessment. In the midst of all of this excitement, I drove over to support her and arrived at the hospital to find her glowing with happiness. She could not believe what had happened! Hudson was even larger than Clara, coming into this world at 9lbs. Hudson's birth had not just brought a new life into the world; it had birthed a new Amber, one who understood the profound beauty and strength of her own body.
 
During our postpartum session, she told me she had journeyed from a place where birth was a distant, fearful concept to one where it was a sacred, empowering experience. She realized that this story – her story – would ripple through generations, changing how her children viewed birth and the innate wisdom of women. She now knows that it’s as much for her as it is for her children. Her story became a testament to the power of embracing the unknown, of finding strength in surrender, and of the transformative magic that occurs when we trust in the wisdom of our bodies.

​​Newsflash: You don't have to give birth at a hospital just because "that's what everybody does." I highly encourage you to explore all of the available options and let go of other people's fears and expectations. Ask yourself what you want and which place will get you there.

𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄
If you and baby are healthy and you wish to go unmedicated and avoid unnecessary interventions, this is the place for you! Labor flows as it's meant to under the care of a midwife who will not push routine procedures or a deadline. Here you will find the most comfort (and patience) and can give birth in a tub or in any room or position you prefer. You will likely also have the same personal care team you had during prenatal appointments. Don't be so quick to dismiss this option if you catch yourself saying, "I really want a home birth, but what if something goes wrong?" This question requires a deeper dive with a professional.
Think a home birth isn't for you? Think again!

𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐋
If you are anticipating an issue that requires medical intervention/specialized care or you know you want an epidural, the hospital is for you. Here, you can count on the most advanced technology and doctors skilled in labor management. If you're hoping to go unmedicated at a hospital or decline routine interventions, you will need to do some extra work to get your wishes. If the hospital has a tub, you might not be allowed to give birth in it. You will likely labor with many nurses and providers (OB or midwife) you don't know.

𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑
The best of both worlds! This location is NOT at a hospital. It has the creature comforts of home with just a few more pieces of equipment than a home birth. You will labor as if you were home but won't have to deal with the logistics of planning a home birth. Here, you'll give birth with a midwife and the nurses on shift.
𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑
While it's called a birth center, it'll likely still follow hospital policies and give you access to pain meds and an OR. However, the rooms are often more comfortable and you'll probably be cared for by midwives.

Oftentimes, people will put so much work and research into labor. They consider their options and the risks and benefits of the recommendations they are given. They eventually become comfortable leading conversations regarding their care and even become really good at saying "No." However, it seems like all those skills disappear when it comes to deciding what newborn procedures they agree to.

Just like labor/pregnancy interventions, newborn procedures are all YOUR choice, and whether or not something seems mandatory, it's totally up to you. But be prepared for some pushback from your medical team or be asked to sign a waiver if you decline. I've seen many hospitals not give parents any trouble for declining certain newborn procedures. You may also choose to delay any of these procedures. Here are the ones you can expect at the hospital:

Eye Drops (Erythromycin) 
Erythromycin is the name of the ointment that is placed in a newborn's eyes to prevent ophthalmia neonatorum (neonatal conjunctivitis). Your baby is at greater risk if you have STDs. Even if the baby got it, it's still treatable. In fact, breastmilk drops do wonders for babies with pink eye! This is the procedure that most of my clients decline. 
Read Evidence Based Birth on eye drops.

Vitamin K Shot
This shot helps prevent a very rare but serious blood clotting issue. People who are against it are worried about the ingredients/toxins in the shot and the "black box warning." Sara Wickham has a short read on this shot but if you want some extensive reading, look into EBB's article. If you are planning for a circumcision, it might be hard to find a provider willing to perform the procedure without this shot due to the risk of blood loss. However, you might find a few local providers who don't require the shot.

Routine Suctioning 
This procedure involves the use of a soft-tipped bulb to remove excess fluid and mucus from the baby's nose and mouth. It's relatively benign but could cause the baby to become worked up and not latch. It could also result in minor injury to the nasal cavity if done very forcefully. Babies typically remove these fluids by coughing, sneezing, crying, or spitting up. The WHO recommends no suction if the baby is born in clear amniotic fluid. If the baby is struggling to breathe after a minute or so after birth, or meconium is present in the amniotic fluid, suctioning is recommended.

Heel Prick/PKU
This test requires just a few drops of blood from your baby's heel to detect certain disorders. Personally, I believe the pros outweigh the cons. Depending on your state, this test can be "mandatory."  To help the baby feel as comfortable as possible, you can request this be done while the baby is feeding or being held on your chest.

Hepatitis B Shot
Hep B is a contagious liver disease. Contact with infected blood is the most common way to get it. Infection could range from very mild to very serious. Parents who opt out feel the risk of the baby coming in contact with an infected person's bodily fluid is very slim. Read here for more info on this disease and the risks and benefits of the shot.
 
Cord Clamping
Most hospitals wait 1-2 minutes before clamping the cord but I'd recommend a more accurate sign that your baby has received all of their cord blood. And that means waiting until the cord is white and limp. Be sure you are specific with your provider about what delayed cord clamping means to you. I've seen home births where the cord stays attached to the placenta and unclamped for almost two hours but in a hospital setting, it's done as soon as possible. How long you wait to clamp depends on what you prefer but be prepared to get some questions from your provider if you choose to clamp AFTER the placenta has been delivered, although there's no risk to waiting. It's just a bit unconventional and inconvenient for hospital providers. Obviously, if there is any complication, the cord might need to be cut sooner than expected. Mama Natural has a great article on delayed cord clamping.

Wipe Down
This procedure is so quick and standard that parents may not notice it and nurses almost reflexively do it. The reason they wipe the baby down with a towel or blanket is to stimulate the baby to cry or breathe to ensure he's adapting well to his new environment. They may also be trying to remove blood, stool, or the protective white coating on their skin called vernix to present you with a "clean" baby. In my experience as a home birth doula, this wipe-down is not standard nor necessary. The midwife simply places the newborn on the mom's chest and allows him through his own efforts to breathe and become alert. Not all babies need to be born crying and active, some are just more calm. If the baby is breathing well and has good a good APGAR score, stimulation is not needed. There are many reasons why the vernix is beneficial.

Circumcision
This procedure is a hot topic and it carries more risks than benefits. Even ethicists have chimed in on the topic, as it involves much more than being a "medical procedure." I suggest you get cozy and settle in for this long but detailed article from Evidence Based Birth.

​Hear me out just a moment while I step on my soapbox!

I want to talk about Group B Strep (GBS) testing and its management in labor. I'm not here to tell you what to do, but I want to tell you what you 𝒄𝒂𝒏 do.

The typical management in the US is to get tested around 36 weeks and if you test positive you are told to immediately go into the hospital to receive IV antibiotics every four hours until the baby is born. Some providers ask you to come when your water has broken and others, before your water breaks. Why could this be an issue? Well, lean in and learn:

𝟭. Coming into the hospital early could severely alter your plans (the environment can affect the flow of labor and put you at a greater risk of more interventions).
𝟮. Prolonged use of IV fluids could affect breastfeeding.
𝟯. You're killing the bad AND good bacteria in your system which also affects the baby's microbiome.
𝟰. About 30% of pregnant women have GBS and that doesn't inherently mean it's a bad thing. We're all made of bacteria. The issue is whether your baby gets exposed, colonized, and infected. Not all of those three things happen in labor.
𝟱. GBS is a transient bacteria, meaning that if you were positive 4 weeks ago you might not be when you go into labor. In other words, you are possibly treating a problem you might not have. Also, the test isn't 100% accurate, and testing negative could be a false result and you'll labor with an unknown positive diagnosis.

Why are you doing all this? For the 1-2% chance your baby will get infected. Meaning 98% of you will be unnecessarily treated like there will be an issue. The math ain't mathing on this one. But labor care in this country is all about treating a problem before it becomes a problem. I'm not trying to discredit the real effect GBS can have on a baby. I'm just laying out the numbers.

But I do understand if some of you aren't even willing to take that small risk, don't want to defy provider recommendations, or just want to know if you have other options. I'm not here to tell you what's right or wrong, but I want to encourage YOU to call the shots knowing what the risks/benefits and options are.

👉Agree to antibiotics if you get a fever, premature labor, or your water has been broken for 18+ hours.
👉Agree to go to the hospital and get antibiotics only after labor is well-established. Studies have shown that at least one round of antibiotics 2-4 hours before the baby is born can still greatly reduce the chances of infection.
👉Decline vaginal exams that can increase the chances of infection.
👉Decline antibiotics and testing and treat the newborn if there are signs of infection. This is the usual approach in the UK.
👉Ask for a quick screening GBS test in labor instead of the standard one in pregnancy.

Read  more at Evidence Based Birth

Waiting is hard. You probably never expected to still be pregnant, or maybe you aren't surprised to be here today, but you weren't prepared to feel the way you do. The days can feel like weeks.

Maybe you've made great physical sacrifices, and being pregnant hurts. But you swore you'd choose discomfort over induction. 

You might even be feeling a bit embarrassed because you told your family and friends that baby would be here by a certain date, and that date has passed. A great approach when well-meaning people ask when it's finally going to happen say, "Baby gets to pick the day, not me or the provider". Sometimes, it's ok to make your inner circle smaller and be very honest about how those questions make you feel. The people who truly care for you will understand.

You might be feeling pressured to have this baby by a certain day, and you probably have an induction scheduled. However, if you feel like you're hoping to miss that induction and aren't looking forward to it, then the truth is, you're not truly comfortable with it, and a deeper conversation is needed. Do you want to completely decline it, and have you gone over your options, risks, and benefits? Or is there something about the induction that you're worried about? I encourage you to speak to someone you trust and explore ways to get over that hesitation. The point is, no matter your decision, you should feel confident and safe!