The Honest Truth

How an "Aha Moment" Changed Me

I remember that first year as a doula, doing nearly everything to book a client. I recall agreeing to work with people and places that really didn't fill my cup, but I just HAD TO fill my books somehow, no matter the cost. How else was I going to be taken seriously if I didn't actually have any clients? I took on people who weren't as committed to birth as me. People who simply hired me for the sake of having a doula. I worked at places that didn't fully support what my clients envisioned. And I said nothing. I didn't mention the uphill climb they'd have to journey to get even the simplest things like hands-on fetal monitoring. I said nothing when the place, provider, or client felt "off."

How could I possibly land a client if I was brutally honest with them? Who would want to hear me gripe about a hospital or provide I believed wouldn't give them what they wanted? Especially after knowing me for less than ten minutes. How would these potential clients react if I told them I'm not a huge fan of continuous monitoring and that I'm hard to convince when it comes to inductions? What if they knew my biases, my true colors, my non-negotiable values?

After nearly three years I was becoming a living statistic: on my way to burnout within five years of doula work. It hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. I had to do something BIG if I wanted to keep going! I began following the wise creators of Intentional Birth and made some meaningful changes that have paid off. I became honest with myself and with my potential clients. 

Will this honesty help me land every client I interview? No, but that's ok. 

When I talk to these clients, I'm looking for a connection- for a sign that I will be valued, needed, included, and respected. All of that is kinda hard to gather in a 30-minute conversation, so here's what I do.

• I tell them I'm a straight-shooter and will call them out if they are making decisions that don't align with their goals. When my gut feels something, I allow it to speak.
• I inform them that I will ask them tough and sometimes uncomfortable questions to help them find their true wishes. Sometimes it means going against provider recommendations.
• I tell them I'm quick to point out when I become suspicious of their provider. 
• I let them know what my biases are and I will most definitely not apologize for feeling passionate about them.

If they don't choose me after this initial interaction then I'm sure there's another doula out there who's better suited for them. Me? I'll always stay true to myself and attract clients who believe in me.

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